I wasn't going to post about this. But I sort of feel I have to. As a warning. Like those places people walk by in a horror movie that have a warning that the place is a home to an unspeakable evil.

Yes, dear readers, I have stepped into the abyss. And it wasn't pretty.

Let's back up. Jeopardy Guy warned us of the dangers of Kidz Bop, which led to me finding a version of "Follow Me" that sounded like it was sung by Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

So, anyway. I saw an ad for this, and let's just say that if it's not being used by a clandestine intelligence service to torture people for key pieces of information, well, it should.

Trusty bullet point time...

• First, click on the part on the top right that says "Music". You have five seconds before you have to hear tweens singing "Hollaback Girl".
  
  
• The songs themselves. This site has tolerable little snippets of them for ease of use. Enjoy a "Hollaback Girl" totally deprived of any sort of irony, find out that someone sings worse than Madonna, listen to the amusing lyrics changes in "Get This Party Started", get creeped out by young kids singing "Breakaway" and "Pon de Replay" and thrill to the utter horror of "Shop Around".
  
  
• Of course, there's more on the site - notably, the singer bios. If you'll notice, each of the bios describes the singer as her persona.
  
  If you've seen the "Simpsons", this becomes important when they get a new Sparkle.
  
  
• Particularly notable is Urban Girl, whose favorite subject is "Spanish" and is described as independent.
  
  I leave you to your own devices on this one.
  
  
• And let's not forget the intro, notably the part about the "whispering secrets".
  
  And we wonder why we have a problem with the intentional and unintentional release of classified information at all levels of government. I hate to bring in the idea of a North Korean front group, but all the pieces seem to fit here.
  
  
• Of course, you can also buy the CD, assuming that you've had a mini-stroke or are suffering an acid flashback. If you do click on the above site, you will note that it's listed under "Rock/Pop/Alternative".
  
  It's not really popular, and it's not rock. So that must leave Girl Authority as the next Nirvana.
  
  
• The "Games and Stuff" link includes a link to a picture of a lime, with the tagline "This My Lime!".
  
  I've tried it a few times, and have never gotten "This My Tequila!".
  
  

So, in conclusion, flee. Just flee.